Empty Frames (girls will hate this post)

I really need to buckle down and hold out for a hard girl worth my time. I've been so consumed in the market of being impatient and requiring instant gratification lately that I've probably missed more valuable opportunities worth my time. I need to just need to clearly define my objectives to myself, and then make them clear to some of these girls. The truth is, I am not wanting anything serious with these people. Don't get me wrong - I don't think that I'm manipulating them to think that those are my intentions, but I should probably make it very clear for both of us. I think if I can clean up a little bit - by putting things that don't belong in their right place (AND keeping them there!) then I would be more able to fill properly fill that space.

HERE'S MY ANALOGY:...

There's this really nice picture frame in my living room. I'm talking gold-rimmed, glass plated (err, i'm starting to realize how very little I know about frame characteristics), but you get the point... this is a fancy nice thing! Now, I have the intention of putting the nices painting/ picture in this frame, but I don't have one yet, so it's empty. I get uncomfortable with it being empty, so I grab some random scraps or put something together as a temporary fix. I put this in the frame to fill the space and for the time, I feel a little bit more comfortable about it there. You would rather have something behind the frame, than nothing, right?? Well... dillema. Having these temporary fixes in there has really turned my attention from my initial point to get an appropriate painting for it! After a while... I'm not even LOOKING anymore. I'm just satisfied w/ having it un-empty. fuckkkk that! I have higher standards and expectations than that, but the issue is.... apparently I haven't lately.

Now don't me wrong again, because I don't want to put any of these people down - but for one reason or another (maybe just for the reason of my intentions), these are not the people meant to fit that spot. And I would like to fix that.

83% chance that any female user who read this just blocked me.

"Carpe Diem" inverse

I feel horrible. Really. I hope I'm not getting sick because the weekend is just starting. Then again, I don't really have any plans this weekend, so I don't really know how illness would affect it. I just... well, I'd prefer not to. Obviously.

Given that, I definitely should NOT have gone out last night. I finish all my classes by Thursday night, so I start my weekend a bit early. I wish I had started it off with some airborne medicine, a gallon of water, and 10 hours of good sleep. Instead it was started off with bar food, beer, and shitty drunk pass out sleep. Great... I'm a champ!

I got my last paycheck today, at least. So, I'm not super poor anymore. (But, I will be when it runs out, so I'm supposed to budget it very frugally.) I'm decent at making the budgets, but... the actual implementation is usually the trickiest part.

I think I'm going to get out of bed and start my day. It is not a "seize the day" type of day, though...

On & On

I revise my previous intentions from "daily" updating to "frequently" updating. Because, well, let's be reasonable.

School has kicked in, and I'm literally aching to get out already. I'm in my last semester, and I feel so prepared already to head out into the real world to start working, making money, and doing productive things - while instead I'm cashing in tuition expenses and reading textbooks that I feel like I've covered 8x by now. School's fantastic at introducing you to concepts; however, actual learning and education comes on your own accord - by your own will. At least my $0.02...

I haven't dusted my camera off in months. I feel like such a waste with ~$2500 worth of camera equipment in a bag next to my bed that I rarely use anymore. There's no way in hell I can part with that shit, because on those infrequent moments that I do need them - they're unbeatable. Plus... they're just mine. And that's that. I really need to pull it out again and start shooting. Maybe even post an occasional "frequent" photo too.

I haven't player poker in a while either. Referring back tot he first paragraph, school is dominating my funds, and you simply can't gamble when you're short on funds... at least, it's not a smart idea. (Unless... ), ha, no.

Well, I'm supposedly going to be busy as a fucking [insert creative analogy] these next few weeks, but I'm hoping somehting interesting will shine on, so I can have some legit experiences and stuff to write about. Otherwise, you'll have to read worthless shit like this in abundance.

-S

Coffee house encore

Two year hiatus? Apparently so...

I just read through all my posts I had written in the past (all few of them that there are), and it's really interesting to see what you were doing two years ago. Part of it seems like it was just yesterday, while other parts of it make it seem like another lifetime completely. Strange to see at least. I guess that's part of what motivated me to post back now. Plus the initial reason of starting this blog to vent out to myself.

It's strange with all these "social networking" sites that are out now. You have your facebook, and myspace, and twitter, and blogs, and... it's insane how many audiences there are out there. Sometimes it's your friends, now it's your family. Then there's LinkedIn for you professional network. It just drives me crazy how many different people you have to appear to be. It's hard to customize your appearance to all the different audiences that after a while you have to re-figure out who you are and what you 'really' think and feel. I guess that's another incentive to do this. I have no idea who reads this, so I can legitmately be me. I hope so, at least.

I'm relaxing at this coffee house right now for my standard "Sunday Productivity" day... At the end of a crazy and typically unproductive weekend, I need to get out of my apartment, get away from the people I know, and clear my head and get things done. I feel like I could drink 17 gallons of water and still not be feeling like a champion though... Maybe I need to go relax in a dark movie theatre and enjoy a movie or two.. so much for productivity.

There was this girl here a while ago that I kept catching eyes with. Cute girl- kind of the eclectic and individualistic type, which I'm all about. Well, my heads spinning from weekend fatigue and the 3 cups of caffeine I've been consuming and I couldn't concentrate on anything. I sat over by her for a while (excuse to be by an outlet for my laptop, gaw I'm such a loser, haha) and couldn't do anything past intro conversation. We were both on laptops and I was legitimatly trying to do some work, but couldn't concentrate on anything, and... that was that. Would have been a great opportunity to meet someone different at least, but I couldn't manage the confident or creativity to continue a conversation. I can run my mouth to anybody just about anytime, and I'm usually great at meeting new people, but... I guess I'm just worthless right now.

So i re-up my blog to acquaint with people online since apparently I can't in person. +2 pts for me. fucking joke.

I think I've made my encore post make me look like a really clutch guy. solid. Well, regardless of what it makes me look like, apparently that's who I am right now..

I hope that girl randomly comes back, though